You Again
by AmyLeigh88
Summary: This was inspired by Ryan Murphy's comment about Jesse returning to the show in season 2. Jesse pays Rachel a visit before Nationals to give her a pep talk but it doesn't go as smoothly or painlessly as he hoped it would.


Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Glee characters. If I did, Jesse St. James and Rachel Berry would be taking the world by storm together.

_And every time I close my eyes  
__It's you again, you again  
__And every time I hear your voice  
__I don't know what to do with myself  
_Kate Havnevik – You Again

Rachel stood in the hallway backstage of the New York City theatre anxiously anticipating New Directions turn to perform at Nationals. She didn't know where all of this self-doubt had come from. They had handily beaten their competition at Regionals and a lot of that was due to her. But over the last few weeks as Nationals had neared, she began to doubt how she could possibly stack up against some of the best singers in the entire United States. If she wasn't performing an entire song, _solo,_ then she might not be feeling the way she is but the pressure had started to close in on her.

She hadn't known what to do. How to cope since this was all new territory for her. She'd ended up calling Shelby thinking that talking to her mom and national title winning ex-glee director would help. They had even met up for coffee so Shelby could give Rachel some tips on what to expect at Nationals and to try and reassure Rachel that she would shine just as bright, if not brighter, on the Nationals stage as she had anywhere else. Unfortunately, Rachel had left their meeting not feeling any better. In fact, she had felt worse.

At first, she'd thought that maybe she was in a funk because she had broken up with Finn right after Regionals, but she knew that wasn't it since she was the one that had done the breaking because she didn't have _those_ feelings for him anymore. She had thought that maybe it was that she lacked confidence in her teammates and thought that they'd fail her, but she knew that wasn't true either. In the end, it was that she suddenly lacked confidence in her vocal and performance ability.

Rachel was lost in her own thoughts when a voice she wasn't sure she'd ever hear again, startled her. "Hi, Rachel."

She spun around to see Jesse St. James standing in front of her looking even better than she remembered. "Jesse? Wh-what are you doing here?"

"Someone might've told me that you were at Nationals and that it might be a good idea for me to come see you."

"Shelby?" He nodded. "What did she tell you?"

"She just said that she was worried about you and she thought I could help."

Rachel scoffed, as the memories of what had happened over a year ago between them came flooding back to her. "What made her think I'd want your help?"

Jesse couldn't help but be put on the defensive at the tone of her voice. "Hmm, I don't know. Maybe the fact that my team and I won a National championship all four years I was in high school," he responded, snidely. He hadn't come here to argue but if it was a fight she wanted then a fight she would get.

"I can do without your advice considering how you and your 'teammates' liked to do things," she spat back. Seething over the incident that she thought she had long forgotten. Clearly she hadn't or else just being around him again wouldn't have stirred up all of these emotions in her. She wished that she could be indifferent to him, but the harder she tried the more her emotions took over. "You guys didn't care who you stepped on, on your way to the top, just as long as you got there. Well, I'm not like you Jesse St. James."

Jesse stepped forward into her personal space at her last comment. "That's where you're wrong. You're more like me than you know. If faced with the same decisions that I had to make last year in order to get one step closer to being the star that you so desperately want to be, there's no doubt in my mind that you would've done the same."

Indignant, Rachel took a step back. "How dare you imply that I would do any such thing?" Sure she had done some things that were not so nice over the years to help cultivate herself into a star, but she would never…

"Oh really, Rachel? You're telling me that you wouldn't do anything to get what you want?" Once again, he was in her personal space. She couldn't think with him being so close to her, smelling like the cologne that she'd tried so hard to forget. Thoughts of how she had chased after Finn the year before even when she'd thought he'd had a pregnant girlfriend and the things she'd done. The way she'd acted in glee club time and time again. She was denying that she would have ever done anything that Jesse had done, but if faced with the same dilemma would she have chosen differently than him? "Hmm, no response? I seem to remember you trying to break things off with me twice because of what the rest of New Directions thought of us dating. Yet, you can honestly tell me that you would never have done anything to prove your loyalty to your teammates?"

"There are a lot of things that I would do, but I would never have humiliated someone like you humiliated me." She felt the fight rush out of her even as she remembered him cracking that egg on her forehead. "I would never have done that to someone I loved." She tried to stop her lower lip from trembling but the memories of that day and how Jesse had shattered her heart had reopened old wounds. The horror in his eyes after seeing what he and his teammates had just done, a little remorse even and then the disgust as he'd fisted his hand over her forehead with the egg in his hand and told her that he'd loved her and then cracked it, letting the egg run down her face.

She might as well have slapped him the way her words made him recoil from her. He wished they could go back to the yelling and bickering because it was a lot less painful than seeing that heartbroken look on her face all over again. He'd regretted that moment in the McKinley High parking lot every day since it'd happened. If only he could tell her how many times he dialed nine of her 10-digit number only to hang up. He'd written her text apologies, e-mail apologies and even a hand-written letter but none of them had ever been sent. In fact, he still had some of them saved. He had wanted her to know how sorry he was for doing that to her and that it wasn't his idea, but most of all he had wanted her forgiveness. In the end though, he felt like he didn't deserve it.

She turned away from him as she could feel tears starting to form in her eyes. She hated the thought of him seeing her cry especially because it was _about_ him. "Just go, Jesse. Shelby shouldn't have called you."

She didn't hear his footsteps walk down the hall so she knew that he was still glued to the spot that he'd been in when she'd turned around. She didn't care anymore about the tears. She'd never allowed herself to have this moment and if Jesse wanted to stand there then she wanted him to know just what he'd done to her.

He slowly walked towards her like he was approaching a wild animal, afraid that he might scare her off if he made any sudden movement. Tentatively, he reached his hand out and lightly touched her shoulder. He took it as a good sign when she didn't flinch or pull out of his grasp and run in the opposite direction. All he wanted to do was hold her and whisper his apologies to her. His other hand grasped her other shoulder as he moved behind her. Finally, he wrapped his arms around her from behind and pulled her body to his, hugging her close to him.

In all that time since they'd last seen each other, not once had Jesse ever thought that he would ever have the chance to hold Rachel again. He had to say what he'd wanted to say for so long now because if he didn't then he might never get another opportunity. "I'm sorry," he whispered close to her ear. "I'm so sorry."

And as she cried her silent tears, she let him whisper his words of apology to her. She'd had no idea how badly she'd needed to hear those words from him until he'd actually said them. Standing there wrapped in Jesse's arms, his face buried in her hair, Rachel was hit with how much she'd missed Jesse. It had been so much easier to push those feelings aside rather than dealing with them which based on the way she was feeling and reacting right now was the worst idea ever. She should have faced those feelings head on rather than jumping into something with Finn, thinking that by letting him pick up the pieces that she'd never have to think about Jesse and all that had happened ever again. It was too late to bemoan all of that now.

Regaining her composure a bit, she wiped the tears from her cheeks but made no move to leave Jesse's embrace. She reached up and lightly laid her hand on his arm. After all that time apart, their connection should've felt completely foreign but it didn't. Rachel always thought that she'd want an explanation from Jesse about why he had done the things that he had done, but it turned out it didn't matter to her anymore. All she had really needed to hear was that he was sorry for what he'd done because his reasons for doing it didn't matter.

"You're going to knock them dead out there today," he finally said, softly. His mouth being so close to her ear as he spoke sent shivers up and down her spine. "You are one of the most talented performers I've ever seen, and those judges are going to see what I see. Just how amazing you are."

She shook her head, gently. "There are so many talented people here. I doubt they'll even remember me."

He released her from his embrace and turned her around to face him, holding her arms as he looked her in the eyes. "You don't honestly believe that do you? Where's the Rachel Berry that I know and love?" He didn't mean to say that, but it just slipped out and now he couldn't take it back.

Rachel looked taken aback by his words. All she could think was _love,_ as in present-tense. Currently. Right now. _He couldn't possibly_, she thought.

But then he continued on as though he hadn't just inadvertently told her that he loved her. Still. "What happened to the girl who was so confident during "Don't Rain on My Parade" at Sectionals last year that she was utterly unforgettable?"

"She came to Nationals," she replied, wryly. You couldn't go anywhere in the hotel they were staying in without hearing the competition practicing and there were so many incredible singers, but she'd known that would be the case before she even got to New York which is why she'd been in such a funk for weeks.

"Do you know what you're like when you're on stage?" She shook her head no in response. "You're mesmerizing. Those judges will only remember your face and voice when they're in that deliberation room."

She rewarded his compliment with a small smile that finally reached her eyes. She didn't know why but Shelby _had_ been right to call Jesse. This was what she needed to hear, and he was the only person that she would've been willing to hear it from and take it and use it.

"If you go out there and do what you do best, those judges will remember you and New Directions. You're a star, Rachel Berry. Don't ever forget that." And with that he released her arms and backed away from her with a bittersweet smile on his – _beautiful_, Rachel thought – face.

"Jesse…" she called out before he had the chance to turn around and continue walking down the hall. She slowly approached him and stopped in front of him, looking up at him. "Thank you." And the next thing she knew, she leaned up and lightly kissed him on the lips. She initially was going to kiss him on the cheek, but her body apparently had a mind of its own.

"Anytime, Rachel," he said, with that signature grin of his in place. "Break a leg." And with that, he turned around and headed down the hallway to go find his seat in the audience.

As she watched him go, all the nerves and self-doubt were gone. She laughed that all it had taken was a simple conversation with Jesse St. James. Knowing that he was going to be in the audience, she knew she was going to knock the judges dead along with the rest of her New Directions teammates and prove to Jesse that she was the star that he'd always told her that she was.

Fifteen minutes later, Jesse was sitting in the audience right next to Shelby in the front row, awaiting Rachel and the rest of New Directions. He saw her small frame in the shadows of the dark stage and the opening notes of the song began. From the darkness her big voice sang out softly – _The first time ever I saw your face, I thought the sun rose in your eyes _– and Jesse was mesmerized just as he knew he would be. Based on the utter stillness in the audience, it seemed as though she had managed to captivate them as well with just one line of the song.

The spotlight illuminated her as she continued the first verse of the song. It was such a brilliant choice of song for Rachel to sing that he couldn't help but applaud Mr. Schue's choice and the arrangement they had chosen. It wasn't exactly Roberta Flack but it wasn't Celine Dion either. It was a perfect mixture to fit Rachel's stunning voice. He felt the emotion rolling off of her in waves as she sang the song and he wasn't sure if Rachel could even see him sitting in the front row but it seemed like she was looking right at him. He felt the same connection with her that he had the first time they'd ever sung together, the type of connection where everyone just becomes fuzzy in the background and only he and Rachel exist in that moment.

As Rachel sang the last notes of the song, the rest of New Directions started filtering onto the stage to take their places. "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face" morphed into the beginning of the Rolling Stones "Gimme Shelter". Again, Jesse had to hand it to Mr. Schue as he was quite impressed with their choice of music. He was concerned that it would once again become another Finn and Rachel duet with the rest of New Directions as background singers. That wasn't the case at all as they danced around and sang the song. Of course, Rachel and Finn had parts but so did Santana, Puck, Artie and Tina.

As the song ended and New Directions was in their final pose, Jesse's eyes connected with Rachel's. He winked at her, Rachel giggled and smiled in return. As New Directions left the stage, Jesse felt a surge of pride at how fantastic they had been. He had always thought they had deserved the runner-up position at Regionals the year before. And after spending all those weeks with them when he was at McKinley with Rachel, he couldn't help but have a soft spot for them. Well, except for Finn. Jesse didn't think that he'd ever like that kid.

Shelby turned to him as the house lights went up and the audience awaited the judges' decision on the winner. "I don't know what you said to her, but it obviously worked. Thank you for doing that for her especially since it couldn't have been easy for you."

"I'm just glad she let me talk to her. It was something we both needed. All I did was telling her how amazing she is. That was all Rachel up there on that stage. She was wonderful, like always. If they don't win first place…" He couldn't even fathom it. He'd missed watching a few of the groups' performances while he had been backstage talking to Rachel but he'd heard them and he knew that Rachel and New Directions had out sung all of them. New Directions still had some work to do in the dancing department but they'd improved greatly since the last time he'd seen them, but none of the groups that he'd seen had been anywhere close to the performance level that Vocal Adrenaline had the previous four years.

As they sat there waiting, Jesse and Shelby caught up with each other about what had been going on in their lives. Jesse talked about his life at school and Shelby told him all about her life as a mother of a baby girl. He was still pissed about how Shelby had handled meeting Rachel last year, but the auditorium of the New York City theatre was not the time or the place for it.

Finally, the judges appeared onstage along with the glee clubs. He found Rachel and caught her eye, smiling at her. Jesse watched as the second, third and fourth runner-ups were announced and New Directions was still standing there along with a show choir from Mississippi that Jesse had competed against and beaten every year. He hoped New Directions would do it this year.

The judge pulled out the card with the National Champion's name on it, "And the 2011 National Champion is… New Directions!" He and Shelby both jumped out of their seats at the same time, cheering and hugging each other. It was almost like they had just won their fifth national title even though they both hadn't done a thing.

As New Directions posed for pictures, Jesse told Shelby that he wanted to go backstage to be the first one to congratulate Rachel. Rushing backstage, he stood off to the side waiting for New Directions to finish taking the obligatory photos with the judges and the trophy. When they began heading his way finally, the moment Rachel saw Jesse standing there she began running over to where he stood. The next thing he knew, he was wrapped in a hug with Rachel's arms clinging tightly around his neck. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer to him, picking her up off the ground slightly and spinning her around. Both of them grinning from ear-to-ear.

"I knew you had it in you," he whispered in her ear. He sighed quietly at being this close to her once again.

"Thank you for believing in me," she said, softly. She punctuated her appreciation with a kiss on Jesse's cheek before she let go of him.

Mr. Schue walked over to him as soon as Jesse and Rachel broke apart. "It's good to see you again, Jesse," Mr. Schue said, extending his hand and shaking Jesse's hand.

"You too," Jesse said, smiling at his former glee club director. "Brilliant choice of songs, by the way. None of those other show choirs would ever dare touch songs like those. I don't even think they would even know how. It was Vocal Adrenaline's strategy for years until this year," he said, alluding to all the changes Vocal Adrenaline had undergone since both he and Shelby had left. "Anyways, congratulations."

"Thanks," he replied. "Well, I'm gonna leave you two alone now, but I just wanted to say hi. Take care, Jesse." And with that, Mr. Schue clapped Jesse on the back and walked away.

He and Rachel stood there in silence for a moment, neither of them knowing where to begin.

"Rachel –""Jesse –"they began at the same time causing them both to laugh.

He gestured towards her to let her know to go ahead and say whatever was on her mind. "Um, if you don't have any plans tonight would you like to have dinner? You know, to, um, catch up?"

Jesse let out a little laugh before responding. "I was actually about to ask you the same thing. I'd love to. Why don't you go celebrate with your team and I'll meet you in the lobby of the hotel in thirty minutes?" She nodded with a huge smile spreading across her face. She found it hard to believe that earlier that day they'd been arguing and angry with each other. Smiling, he slowly walked backwards in the direction that he'd come, not wanting to take his eyes off of her. Finally he turned to round the corner towards the auditorium, giving her small wave he headed down the hall towards the auditorium.

And with that he was gone. As she ran to catch up with her teammates, she could feel her heart swelling at the idea of them actually forming a friendship again, and who knew, maybe something more. They were in New York after all. If there was ever a place for a fresh start, this was the perfect place for it.


End file.
